John Smit's, Captain In The Cauldron

I recently read John Smit's "Captain In The Cauldron" and I have to admit that I had to eat my hat. And I did so with a humbled ego.

I was (and basically still am) a very superficial lover/fan/supporter/whatever you wish to call it, of rugby. And in this capacity, I have been very critical of a lot of the goings on surrounding South African rugby without knowing or understanding the bigger picture (as I mention on my Instagram post at nicole_naicker13), especially so about John Smit during his tenure with the Springboks and the Sharks.

But reading this biography has opened my eyes and I more than willingly rescind all my previous criticisms about John Smit and all those who backed him.

For someone with such a limited understanding of the game of rugby, I sure do have a lot to say about it. The thing is, I really do love rugby. But as I said, my love of the sport is absolutely shallow. I love it just for it being. I simply take pleasure in watching the game - basically watching men run around a piece of grass with markings on it, fighting for one oddly shaped ball just to run across the field and slam their bodies into the ground to score points. I cannot explain it, it makes no sense, but, it excites and thrills me and I just love it.

Despite this love, I have never been able to grasp the details behind the game, and I have made numerous attempts. I know when a try is scored. I know that after a try a conversion attempt is made at the goal posts. And if a foul has been committed a penalty is awarded to the opposing team and they either kick for goal or try something else (this too I do not fully grasp). And I know the points awarded for each. I know an obvious foul play when I see it (such as the tackle made by Englishman Owen Farrell in this weekends game against the Springboks). But I don't understand all the rules involved in the process. Such as why a certain move was illegal or when you kick for what or what on earth is meant by the advantage line! It's all, whoop! Over my head.

From early on in this novel, my views were being contested. My mind was opened up to things I never knew existed and I have to give due credit to Smit for the roles he played in South African rugby all round. He clearly played a vital role, one that I was too ignorant to understand. He had a still composure about him that made him the perfect man for the job at the time. Maybe this is what blinded me to what he brought to the table. I realise that when it comes to a leader, you don't need someone who is all flamethrowers and fireworks. You need someone who is calm and composed and able to see the team as a whole and work for the betterment of the team at all times. That is what Smit did. I will admit that part of what made me dislike Smit was the fact that I am a Bismarck fan and to me, at the time, having Smit on the field meant that Bismarck lost prime game time. I still do feel that Bismarck lost a lot of his prime rugby years playing second fiddle to Smit and I really wish that things had worked out differently, but then again, there is so much I don't understand. I am, however, holding out hope for a Bismarck biography one day.

Apart from changing my mindset on the grander scheme of things, Smit took me into the stories that I had skimmed while growing up and rumours that never quite made it to light. He gave me the "inside scoop", the behind the scenes of the games I had sat and cried my heart out for as well as those that had my mum hiding all the cushions and contemplating getting me a special "rugby" chair for when I started getting too worked up and slamming my fists into whatever was near me.

I recall that 2007 super 14 final. I was in matric (giving away my age here). The match was on a Saturday in Durban. I so wanted to go, but being in matric meant having to make sacrifices (fat lot of good that did). Furthermore, I had tuition classes on the day of the match and my parents wouldn't let me skip. But I refused to acknowledge missing the match. So I recorded the match. Avoided all media whatsoever the entire time. (This was easier back then when cell phones weren't so common and the internet wasn't as easily accessible as it is today, also I didn't own a cell phone till I finished school). I made my dad keep the car radio off on the way home. 
My parents knew the score. But they had to keep any signs of it to themselves. I got home and put on that tape. Back then I was much more passionate about the game, I was also more temperamental. I'd punch the furniture and jump and shout and dance in accordance with what was happening on the field. I don't remember the details of the game. But that feeling. When they just lost. That heartache. So close, but just to miss it. And now to read John Smit's account of it... To find out the little niggles that could have been avoided that could have resulted in a different ending... But that's life hey... Everything happens for a reason? But reading his account of it. His first-hand experience and his emotions, I felt like I was sitting beside him on the bench in the field that day. I teared up reading this chapter. And wow. I see it from a different side now.


This was just one incident, I felt this way about so many incidents in this book. It felt like I was transported back in time, only this time I was reliving my own experience of events as well as experiencing Smit's experience of it.

I actually wept while reading this book. many times. It may sound silly to cry while reading a book about rugby, but it was just emotional. I don't know if that speaks more to John Smit or his co-author, Mike Greenaway, or if it speaks more to my emotional state of being... Either way, this is a book I'd recommend to rugby lovers and maybe just curious minds in general... I certainly feel it was worth my time. 

This Is Me

I saw the cast of The Greatest Showman on The Graham Norton Show and I was like, okay, I need to watch this movie. I saw Keala Settle perform this song on The Graham Norton Show and I was like, ah, nice song. But then I just didn't quite feel like watching the movie after that. Until this past week, when it was being advertised on Box Office quite frequently. And this song plays in the promo and it just spoke to me. It gripped me and I had to watch the movie.

So, I finally watched the movie last night. I loved it. Hugh Jackman is simply amazing. Sure, there is a lot of controversy around P. T Barnum but this is a movie, so no need to get all uptight. This is entertainment. And oh how I enjoyed this movie. As I've been saying since I watched it, after watching the movie I actually looked for the "like button" on my laptop to "like" the movie. I liked the movie that much. But more significantly, I think I have just been spending too much time on Facebook of late, so I need to cut back.

The Greatest Showman really just was amazing. It spoke to me. It called out my name and made me weep. And when this song sequence played, This Is Me, I cannot even describe it. Beautiful and touching beyond words.

Motivation

I came across this verse last week sometime. And I just meditated on it and kept returning to it all day, and I found that it helped me through the day. Maybe it was God Himself fighting my battles for me that day. Or maybe it was my faith in Him so doing that helped me see things differently and possibly approach situations differently. I cannot be sure. But, it is certainly a powerful scripture and if you're looking for some motivation, or something to just help you push through, I hope this will help you as it has helped me.

My 2017 Read List

It seems that each year I push writing this post further and further down. This year it was not for a lack of time. This year I delayed this post because I was in denial.

I was in denial about having read so few books. I was in denial about not meeting my reading goal for the year. I set one goal for myself all year, and that's usually 'cause I don't like failing so I set goals I think I can actually achieve.

Last year my goal was to read 30 books. My 2016 goal was to read 25 books and I accomplished that. So I figured a good progressive goal would be to up it by 5. It didn't work out so well. I didn't even make it to 25 books!

Oh, the shame!

I can make excuses till morning come. Oh, I was so really busy last year ( I really was!). I just didn't have the time. When I was free I'd be so tired I'd just spend that free time eating, watching series and sleeping. I had a really long trip which consumed much of my time. It is all true. But none of these are good enough an excuse for only reading 24 books.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that reading 24 books is not an accomplishment. I believe reading anything at all is an accomplishment. The issue here is that I set myself a goal and let myself down by not completing it.

But, I am back on the book train. And I am more than determined to make good on my promises to myself this year. So I am reading away. Trying my best at least. But making sure I still have fun. We have to remember that reading is fun. So don't force yourself to read anything you do not enjoy (unless it is for school - sorry guys) and you are not obliged to read unless you feel like reading. It must be a pleasurable experience. Remember that.

So happy reading guys. And here's to a happier 2018 read list post... *cheers*

I went to the library

I went to the library the other day. Now this shouldn't be something worth telling, of course, because don't I always go to be library...

However, I had decided that I was going to abstain from the library this year. Due to my ever growing pile of books that I've yet to read at home. I thought I should maybe try tackling these and dedicating my time to them before borrowing yet more books. And once I was at least a decent way through a chunk of these then I could go to the library.

A small portion of my to be read books

And so I started. I'd managed to buy a handful of books on holiday and so I'd begun with these. I read about two books. And hit a slump. I couldn't find anything I wanted to read. I started at least three different books and just could not get into them. My brain just couldn't get excited for it. And I battled. I really really wanted to be reading and absorbing stories. But nothing was catching my attention. And I was dying. 

So I finally decided that that was it. This torture was enough. I will go to the library. And so I "rewarded" myself with a trip to the library. I told myself that I'd just get one book. Just to help me along. Let's not get carried away. Get one outsider to help me along with my reading. Yeaaaah, as can be assumed, that didn't quite go as planned. I came out with five books. 

And I am so excited about all five of these books!

My library books 

My theory is, when buying books I'm a bit fussier and play it a bit safe. Sticking to authors and titles I know and have heard of. Story types I know I like. And so I end up with a ton of similar stuff in my collection at home. However, when I borrow books, my money is not at risk of being wasted here, so I'm more likely to just borrow any old thing that catches my eye. And sometimes these end up being the most exciting reads! 

So to everyone out there who's got a huge to be read pile at home but still buys more books and goes out borrowing more - don't let anyone make you feel guilty! Also it's your life so you should do what you want. 

Am I not allowed a just me moment

We live in such a "me, me, me" society. People are all so full of themselves. All they can see is them. Nothing beyond. I do admit that I am also quite self absorbed, I'm not above it. Human beings have just become such overly self absorbed creatures. That they may be surprised to find out that not everything revolves around them.

Sometimes people go through things that are just about them. They are just having a rough time generally. And they need to detach or have a getaway or just retreat from everything and everyone and just be. This is about the individual! And one should be able to just do so. Without explanation to anyone. You need to do you.

But, the self absorbed creatures that humans are, must make it all about themselves. "Oh, did I do something to offend you? Did I do something wrong? If I did I'm so sorry." Well, sorry, but my life is bigger than just you. And my life consists of numerous things beyond one individual. So, why now give me a further problem. I'm going through my own things, but now you inflict your insecurities on me and play victim and I now have to take on this problem along with everything else. This is part of what is so wrong with the world. However, if you're so quickly to jump to conclusions, it makes me think you have something to feel guilty about. You won't feel the need to apologise if something has not being eating away at your conscience. So go ahead and repent, but don't make your problem mine. 

Because I needed time to myself to make myself whole again in order to just get through life, but now I have to placate you. Every other single day is about everyone else. Helping their problems. Being there for them. Can they not just give you the one or two days for you! So while focusing on you, yet again, what happens to me... 

We as humans need to take a step back. And think. We need to stop being so imposing and self absorbed. And stop with playing the victim all the time. Think about it. Don't play the victim if you are not. Most of the time, the victims go by in silence and it's the ones crying wolf holding the biggest guns.

Simply though, try to be more mindful. Think. Don't make your problem everyone else's. Not everything is about you. Sometimes you just need to let people be.

Your now is not your forever

Image courtesy of The Artidote

I feel like I've been in a rut. For a while. A deep rut. Life didn't turn out the way I expected it would.  I was so naive. I felt like I was so full of potential and would amount to so much in life. But, that didn't happen. No one warned me.

My degree took longer than I planned to complete. I didn't get to complete the degree I started. And I didn't even get to do the subjects I'd wanted to. No one warned me.

I didn't get my dream job immediately after university. I didn't get my dream job for months after university. I didn't get any job for months after university. No one warned me.

I took up a part time temp job as a receptionist. It was meant to last three months. I'm now there for five years. It was just meant to help fill the time till something more substantial came along. Nothing substantial came along. No one warned me.

That first year after completing my studies, I applied for a myriad of jobs across the board. Nothing came of it. I kept applying. Every day. Slowly, it became too much. The constant rejection became too much. So I stopped applying. Why waste the time... Why go through that stress and turmoil... For nothing... No one warned me.

So now I sit at the same job for five years. I have two degrees to my name, and I'm a receptionist/secretary. Day in, day out, its the same. Never moving forward. Never gaining. Never changing. Basically doing nothing with my life.

People think I don't see the looks in their eyes, the words that go unspoken, the meaning behind the, "why don't you try teaching?"or the, "I know so and so, I'll give them your number or give you theirs...". They think I don't notice. They think I don't know.

It gets to me. Really gets to me. I try to overlook it and continue on as happy as I can. But, sometimes its just too much to bare. Knowing that I'm going nowhere. But then I saw this quote on The Artidote. The Artidote is sometimes the only thing that manages to pull me through a day. Reading a quote that so perfectly sums up how I feel and what I'm going through. Makes me feel like I am not alone. Someone else gets it. And, just because you've been stuck for so long, doesn't mean that you always will be. The time will come for change. And there's a reason for everything. (I hope).

Reading is a personal affair

I used to be so self conscious about reading. How I read, what I read, how fast or slow I read...

I also just couldn't read enough. If I was hard pressed for content I would read literally anything with words that I could get my hands on as long as I was reading. During school exams I'd be banned from reading because I was caught one too many times with a novel hidden inside a notebook, pretending to study. So I would get friends to sneak me books at school and dig through old storage boxes and find old books, some even belonging to my granddad and read those covertly. I would go for days on end without sleep, caught up in a story.

But then I grew up. Real life (as well as age) hit me along with its responsibilities. I found that I could no longer get through a day decently enough with next to no sleep. If I was caught asleep at my desk in school I'd just get a scolding, caught asleep at my desk at work could get me fired. More than that, going through a school day half dead is doable, but trying to get work done when you can barely look alive is more difficult. Especially now with the needing more sleep thing.

So I realised that my reading had to adapt. Basically, I no longer had as much time, and energy, as I used to. I absolutely love books and love to read and in order to maintain this love I had to change. These are the things I've come to realise with age and wisdom:

1.  I don't HAVE to finish a book just because I started it. I used to be so finicky about completing books. I'd start reading a book because the title/synopsis sounded interesting or the cover looked cool (yes, I do judge books by their covers) only to find out it was actually quite boring. But I had this misguided sense of pride in having to finish every book I started. And so I would spend days just trying to get through a paragraph of a book that did nothing for me but put me to sleep. Now that I'm older and have much less time I've realised that I don't have the time to waste reading books that do absolutely nothing for me but give me grey hairs. And I realised that I was the only one judging me for not completing it. Even if others do judge me, so what, I'm reading for me and no one else. So if a book is just utterly boring and I am finding no joy in it whatsoever I no longer force myself to suffer through it. I just close it and move on to the next book.
2. It doesn't matter what you read. I used to be so ashamed by the fact that I read (and enjoyed) popular fiction and books intended for age groups so much younger than me. I would shy away from book conversations because I felt I wasn't worthy. Because I didn't love Shakespeare and have never read a single DH Lawrence book in my life. Now I know that I'm not the only one. There are many others who, like me, enjoy children's fantasy novels and those who have never read a classic. At the end of the day what you read doesn't matter (except to snobs). What does matter is that you do read and that you enjoy what you read. 
3. Following on from point 2, just because I enjoy pop fiction doesn't mean I can't also enjoy classic literature.  And I do love my classics, not all of them, but some. One of my favourite books is Middlemarch. However, I usually shy away from saying so because I don't understand the deeper symbolism of the novel. To me I enjoy it on a purely base level, at face value. I'm not good at reading between the lines of stories and I never know whether when someone kills their cat they're actually killing their oppressive mother or if a child denies their parents authority they're actually making a stand against colonialism. I'm extremely dense when it comes to symbolism and interpretation. And this has always made me feel like a complete idiot and like I couldn't truly call myself a book lover because I didn't really get it. I even spent time trying to find underlying meanings in books and it just made reading unpleasant for me. Now, I just don't care. I just read and respond with whatever comes naturally to me. I'm not trying to write a doctorate on any of these books. I just want an escape from reality in the pleasure of a story. 
4. You do not have to fit into any box. You're allowed to have a vast area of interest. Just because you enjoy horror novels it doesn't mean you can't enjoy a good love story also. As I mentioned earlier, I will personally read almost anything. Don't limit yourself because society told you you need to fall within a specific norm. 
5. Being a slow reader is okay. It's not a race or a competition. Though, it is kind of a race against time if, like me, you want to read all the books in the world. But essentially, it's okay to be a slow reader. I am an exceptionally slow reader. I'm so slow I feel like I should add a couple more l's to exceptionally just to emphasize how slow. I used to be so embarrassed about this. I still am a little, but now I own it. I even use it as an encouragement to get other people to read - I'm such a slow reader, I don't think anyone reads as slow as I do, so, if even I can read a book, then so can you. Rather a slow reader than a non reader. You read at whatever pace you're comfortable with as long as you enjoy it.
6. Numbers don't count. This is a tough one for me. And I'm still trying to convince myself of it. It's really hard because as I mentioned above, I really do want to read all the books (well the ones that appeal to me) in the world. And seeing as I'm a mere mortal, the clock is sort of ticking on that. So the more books I read the better. But, reading is essentially about the pleasure. Yes, its about knowledge too. But if you don't enjoy it how much knowledge are you really going to gain from it now... So, for most, it doesn't matter if you only read one book a year, what counts is that you read a book and you enjoy it. I tend to feel really bad about reading so few books when so many people I know get through five times as many as I do. But, again, we have to take into consideration; time, what we're reading, how fast we read and what not. But most importantly, we have to remember that we're reading for ourselves. So if you read one book and you were happy, who cares how many books anyone else read. 

When it comes to reading, like with pretty much everything else in life, the key is to not compare yourself. You read what you want to, when you want to, how you want to and at your own pace. So long as you're reading and happy. Don't let someone else be the measure of your reading life. 

Christine and The Queens - Christine (Clip Officiel)

Christine and the Queens - Tilted (Official Video)

I first came across Christine and the Queens on an episode of The Graham Norton Show. Christine and the Queens performed this song and I was absolutely mind blown. I immediately went onto YouTube to find the song and watched it on repeat for days. The voice of Heloise Letissier is simply angelic and entrancing and the dancing added to this is absolutely out of this world.

This is the English translation of the song. The original is in French and is even more beautiful.

P.S. I owe many thanks to The Graham Norton Show for having introduced me to many amazing artists, apart from Christine and the Queens.

My 2016 reads

My goal for the year (2016) was to read 25 books. To be honest, it was really my only real goal for the year. 25 may seem like a very low number to most, it does to me, but  unlike in my younger days, it's just harder to spend all my time reading now.

I only managed to get through 20 books in 2015 and I was determined to up that number in 2016. And, cutting it really close, I met my goal by completing my 25th book on the 31st of December. Yes, I am quite chuffed with myself. My goal for this year is to read 30 books. (Wish me luck.)

Anyhoo, these are the books that I read last year: 

1. Handle With Care - Jodi Picoult                                                   

This is my first Picoult book. I, obviously, knew who Picoult was before, I am living in this century after all. So my expectations were quite high. And, with this heart breaking story that had me in tears from beginning to end, I was not disappointed.                                                                                                                    

2. Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Stephanie Meyer

    

Not to be judged by the movies, the books are actually a good read.

3. The Lie - Helen Dunmore

I read Dunmore's "Brother Brother Sister Sister" as a kid, and enjoyed it. So, I expected this book to be good. It's not bad, but it was boring and I really had to push to get through this book.

4. Mini Shopaholic - Sophie Kinsella

The 6th book in the Shopaholic" series ("Confessions of a Shopaholic"). Not the most riveting of reads, but passable.

5. The Devil Wears Prada - Lauren Weisberger

This is the first (and probably only) time I will ever say this, but,for once, I think the book wasn't better than the movie. And the book was much darker than the movie. I guess Anne Hathaway is just that good... But, the book cover is pretty amazing.

6. Revenge Wears Prada - Lauren Weisberger

The sequel to "The Devil Wears Prada". Again, not a bad book, but it is really annoying and predictable. It frustrated me more than anything. But, I'd still read it if I could go back in time, 'cause some things I just need to get through and find out for myself.

7. Celebrity Shopper - Carmen Reid

Nothing out of the ordinary, typical chick novel.

8. From Cape Town With Love - Blair Underwood, Steven Barnes & Tananarive Due 

Interesting read. For me, the biggest draw was it being partially set in South  Africa. The story is slow to take off and there are some rather graphic scenes, but once you get pass those, the story isn't bad.

9. The Pale House - Agatha Christie

Not the best Agatha Christie novel, but still a worthwhile read.

10. Me Before You - Jojo Moyes

Expectations for this book were so high, and it lived up to every single one of them, and then some.This book exceeded my expectations. It had me laughing, crying, shouting and just staring blankly into nothingness. This is definitely a book that everyone should read at some point.

11. London Bridges - James Patterson

This is an Alex Cross novel. And that is all I am going to say about it.

12. Getting Out of the House - Isla Dewar

This book reminded me why I love reading so much. Dewar is hilarious and absolutely witty. She had me laughing through almost the entire book. I didn't like the ending which was left far too up in the air for my liking, but I would still read it again. And I will keep an eye out for books by Dewar in the future. This is a book that makes me want to cry when I think that not everyone will get the chance to read this book.

13. Salem Falls - Jodi Picoult

Another heart breaking Picoult novel. The ending is the worst, but I must admit I suspected it all along. 

14. And the Mountains Echoed - Khaled Hosseini

From the guy who gave us "The Kite Runner" and "A Thousand Splendid Suns" can we expect anything less than an amazing story. And this is a good one. A real tear jerker of course. However, it did drag in places a bit. Still a good read none the less.

15. Songs of the Humpback Whale - Jodi Picoult

Never expect an easy story with Picoult. Or a happy ending. However, she tells a real good tale and it's usually worth it, especially in the sense of being closer to reality. In the case of this book though, I found it to be a waste of my time. I didn't like the pace of the story, especially the going back and forth. This is a book I would unread if I could.

17. Nemesis - Agatha Christie

18. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson
19. The Girl Who Played With Fire - Stieg Larsson
20. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest - Stieg Larsson

Stieg Larsson is a writing genius. This is yet another book that exceeded expectations and beyond. I love the characters. The story. Everything. It is a must read. Whether you're a guy or a girl, young or old - this book is for absolutely everyone.

21. A Walk to Remember - Nicholas Sparks

A sappy Sparks novel as can be expected. 

22. Change of Heart - Jodi Picoult

Again. This woman knows how to make you weep. But this book was worth it.

23. Murder is Easy - Agatha Christie

No, it's not.

24. While We Were Watching Downton Abbey - Wendy Wax

 I only got this book because I love Downton Abbey so much. And I'm still suffering great withdrawal symptoms. This book didn't let me down though, even though I started reading it for all the wrong reasons. Worth a read.

25. An Advancement of Learning - Reginald Hill

Reginald Hill is for me the all time crime author. He introduced me to my first ever crime story as a young teenager. And with that Daziel and Pascoe became my favourite crime fighting duo. I got to end my year on a high by having my favourite characters with me. To this day, they have never let me down. 

Your Love Awakens Me - Phil Wickham

 

It's been a while. A very long while. I'm feeling pretty dreary about this week (already), so I just thought I'd share an awesome music video to help just push through the week.

This is "Your Love Awakens"by Phil Wickham. I first heard this song at a woman's conference at City Hill Church. The lady that performed it did such an amazing job. She made me fall in love with this song. I wished I had a video of her performing it, but unfortunately, I do not.

But, after the conference, I went home with this song playing non stop in my head. And I just had to find this song. And thanks to Google and YouTube, I did. And I am now in love with Phil Wickham's voice. This is officially one of my favourite songs right now.

I hope this song can bring you even a smidgen of the joy and peace that it brings me.

My 2015 reads

I know that it's a bit late in the year to be rehashing my 2015 reads, this should have been done in the first week of January ideally. But, I must admit that the idea had not crossed my mind earlier. Also, when it comes to books, there is never a right or wrong time really now, is there... So here I am in the middle of March 2016 sharing my 2015 reads.

The list is a very short one. I somehow just don't have the time to read as much as I'd like to. And to add to this I'm also an avid series watcher, so my free time is split between reading and catching up on series. And a bit in my defense, I know it's just an excuse, but it does make me feel better - I was studying last year. So that obviously meant that a huge chunk of my time was forced to go on attending 3 hour lectures at night (after work I might add) and preparing assignments as well as studying for tests and exams... So it's a lot to juggle, just saying... This is in addition to the fact that I'm a very slow reader. Yes, I am a slow reader, and there is no shame in it.

Anyhoo, here is my list of my 2015 reads:

1. Cocktails for Three by Sophie Kinsella writing as Madeleine Wickham

If you've read Sophie Kinsella books, then you need no introduction... If not, Sophie Kinsella is an awesome "chick"novel writer. And like her other books, this is a light read that also hits those emotional spots and is a good read if you're just looking for something laid back and not too intense.

2. Sophie's Heart by Lori Wick
 

This book is absolutely amazing! And it just tugs at those heart strings so intensely. I cannot say anything more than it is a must read. It's just so beautiful and endearing. Just read it.

3. Sleeping Arrangements by Sophie Kinsella writing as Madeleine Wickham

To be honest, I can't even really remember what this book was about. But I do remember that it wasn't a bad read. Do click on the title and follow the link for more.

4. Scarlet Feather by Maeve Binchy

Another chick novel, and a bit predictable, but an enjoyable read none the less. Perfect when you're just looking for a relaxing read.

5. Gossip Girl - You're The One That I Want by Cecily von Ziegesar

6. Gossip Girl - Because I'm Worth It by Cecily von Ziegesar

7. Gossip Girl - I Like It Like That by Cecily von Ziegesar

Just to make it absolutely clear, I only read these 'cause a friend of mine had them and just lent them to me. I never turn down free books. And I was rather curious to have a go at the books... Needless to say, if you've watched the series then you know what the books are about... However, the books are different to the series, I can't remember exact differences, but there were major differences... Also, the books are far darker, or the characters in the books are far darker than in the TV series... And I had thought the TV series characters were pretty far gone already. Dan especially is a much less nice person than the TV series version... So, I'd only recommend this to young flurry teenage girls, or Gossip Girl fanatics, or just those overly curious (like me).

8. The Fall Of Five by Pittacus Lore

This is the fourth book in the Lorien Legacies series. I Am Number Four is the first book in the series... So, these aren't the best of the best, but they are fun reads. I currently have books one through to four. My sister bought me the first one and I absolutely loved it. I've bought the rest on sale. I'm still waiting to come across the rest of the books in the series on sale somewhere. If you're into young adult fantasy novels, then it's worth a read. I do enjoy Lore's unique writing style.

9. The Secret Shopper's Revenge by Kate Harrison

The title isn't quite what you would think, well to me at least... And, as much as it fits the typical European chick novel - woman dumped by man and now has to find herself as a single woman or single mother, generally in a new place and their journey through this, you know the deal... - it's still a unique concept being dealt with in the "secret shopper's revenge" plot of things. Again, this is a good novel to pass the time, or a good calming read between those more intense reads... These novels generally give you a feel good vibe and are hence worth it.

10. A Dance With Dragons 1: Dreams and Dust by George R. R. Martin

11. A Dance With Dragons 2: After The Feast by George R. R. Martin

These need no introduction. If you love the Game Of Thrones TV series, you will love the books (even more). If you love any of the books in the series, you will love the rest. They're just EPIC. EPIC. I guess I'm cheating by counting them as two separate books, but hey, they're published as two damn separate books! And they're BOTH damn thick! And the writing is so damn tiny! So I will very well count them as two books and just leave me be, okay!

12. Stately Pursuits by Katie Fforde

Not a bad read. 

13. Watermelon by Marian Keyes

I realise that I've read a lot of these European chick novels... But they are entertaining reads, I cannot lie. And also very quick reads as they don't require much thinking really.

14. Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern

If you loved the movie, Love Rosie, then do NOT read this book. This is the novel on which the movie is based. This book is absolutely amazing and heart wrenching and hilarious. It has everything. I laughed at times. At times I just couldn't stop crying. It's just so beautiful and such a beautiful story. I watched the movie version just because I loved the book so much and I wanted to see how they carried it out. I'm never a fan of the movie versions of books, I just like what they've done to the story... And the movie version of Where Rainbows End completely and utterly destroyed the entire story! It was a massacre! If I were the author I'd have sued. Or killed myself at the thought that people would now associate my work of art with that pathetic excuse of a movie.

15. The Laws of Gravity by Liz Rosenberg

This is such a touching and endearing story. It really makes you think. It's easy to judge when you're on the other side, but you don't know what it's like when you're faced with the situation yourself. Just thinking about it now, I feel like I know what I would do, but it's easy to make theoretical decisions. It's worth a read.

16. This Charming Man by Marian Keyes

Typical European chick novel again, but this one really ticked me off. It frustrated me completely. If you want to know why, go ahead and read the book... I can't say why 'cause that would be a spoiler. It's not a bad read overall, just really really frustrating. I wouldn't not recommend it.  

17. Little Women - Lousia May Alcott

I doubt this would need any introduction... It's a classic and most likely on every reader's "to read" list. It was most definitely on mine. And I finally got my hands on it for only 60 bucks at an Exclusive Books sale. The joy! And it so lived up to the expectation. However, by 3/4 way through I realised there were too few pages for the ending I was expecting... Then by the end I realised this was just the first part. Apparently the book was originally published in two volumes, and my luck I got a version that followed suit. So I was quite disappointed by this, still am. However, the book itself is a good one.

18. Persuasion by Jane Austen

Another classic. I am a lover of the classics and this book certainly lived up to expectations. It did annoy me at moments. And I do wish there was more of an ending to it. But all in all, an enjoyable read.

19. The Vampire Diaries - Stefan's Diaries, Volume 4, "The Ripper" by L. J. Smith

Related to the series of the same name, yes. I do enjoy the series, and I will unashamedly admit it. And I also did enjoy this book. This is a time waster book though. More like a book to read while shopping with your mum and holding her bags (which is what I did). 

20. The One Plus One by Jojo Moyes

Yes, the same author who wrote "Me Before You". She is an amazing writer and this is an enjoyable book. You won't go wrong with a Jojo Moyes novel. 

So, that's it. I only got through 20 books for 2015. I do plan to get at least a few more than that in this year. If you have any comments on any of the books mentioned above, or would like to share you own 2015 book list, feel free to leave a comment. 

Happy reading!

Travelling Library in PMB!

About three weeks ago I went to my local shopping center up the road from my office, Cascades, to get a much needed cup of coffee. Now, for those of you who live in Pietermaritzburg you will know of the renovations currently going on which forces you to park at the back entrance...

So I parked at the back entrance, something I haven't done in ages, and right in front of me is this white bus with books set up outside it. I obviously felt my heart start to race. I then walked to the side and forward and I see "Travelling Library" written across the door!

It was one of the happiest moments in my life! I was glowing! I couldn't STOP glowing. I couldn't believe that we actually had a travelling library in PIETERMARIZBURG! I'd expect to find one in Cape Town or Durban, but NOT Pietermaritzburg. So I was quite shocked to stumble upon this here... This was like a fairytale. I thought I'd maybe been so tired that I was half asleep and dreaming. But, it was REAL.

I walked up to the bus and found the librarian and asked her about it. And apparently this travelling library has been around for a long time. HOW did I not know about this before??? So, it works pretty much like any local library, the only difference is that it moves around. I immediately signed up. I had to 'cause the last time I'd been to my local library I was in high school.

It's not that I'd stopped reading. No. It was just that I'd studied away from home. Then there was work. And going to the library became a bit of a task. So I would just buy books instead. Also, borrow books from my awesome cousin who has a constant supply of new books. So, I never really felt the lack of not going to the library...

Until I saw this bus! All my childhood memories of trekking to the library, browsing through all those books... Feeling them... Searching and finding a book I liked... ALL came flooding back to me... I hadn't realised how much I missed going to the library until the library came to me (well sort of).

I just showed them my driver's licence and I was signed up! You're allowed to borrow five books at a time with a turnover time of two weeks. And this library has some EPIC books!

Anyhoo, this is great for those who have busy schedules and are unable to make it to their library. The travelling library is at different spots at different times on different days. I'll put up a the schedule below. Unfortunately for those living in the, um, less affluent areas like Northdale, Raisethorpe, etc. the library does not go there... But, if, like me you work near to one of the stops it does help out...

SO have fun and happy reading. :)

Why do you? Would he? - Name changing after marriage.

Yes, we all have the right to make our own decisions. And, yeah, I shouldn't judge. I really shouldn't judge. I have no right to. I'm in no place to. And I just shouldn't do it.

But, I just can't process this. A great deal of the girls I schooled with/studied with are now married. And not one of them kept their surname. Every single girl, now lady, that I studied with at some point in my life and is now married has taken on the surname of her husband and become a Mrs.

I KNOW it's a personal choice. But I just cant deal with this. At all. I could never just give up my surname, a huge part of my identity, and just take on another. We're in 2015, yet there is not a single woman I know who did not just drop off half of her identity for that of the current man they now call husband. Well all except my sister who has kept our surname with pride.

It really is none of my business, but I feel really angry about this. The fact that all these woman can so thoughtlessly give up a huge part of themselves... The fact that they don't even question why the man gets to keep his. The fact that they don't question why they have to lose part of their identity and just take on the man's. The fact that they just accept the status quo, which isn't even a forced status quo any more!The fact that they so proudly want to be called Mrs so and so! What pride is there in being known in relation to someone else and not as yourself?!

I'm not saying you shouldn't be proud to be married and shouldn't be proud of your husband and what not. Just, be more proud of who you are and where you come from.

Dear Facebook Friends

So, there are at least a thousand things that people do on Faceboook that annoys me (a LOT of things annoy me, yes I'm THAT person), but there's one thing that's taking precedence on the annoying Facebook things at the moment, so I decided to just focus on that. Let's sort out one thing at a time.

Recently most of my Facebook friends all seem to be either getting engaged, married or having babies. I am truly happy for you all. Truly, I am. You post the announcement, we all like it and congratulate you. You then post the initial photos, we like it and congratulate you. Awesome. So happy that your life is moving forward and your family is growing.

But, then you go and post a hundred photos and status updates every day about your new baby! I mean, yes, we get that you are excited, but really... Do we really need to see about 50 photos every other day of your baby? They all look pretty much the same to be honest. Sure, you get a snap from every single possible angle. Then you have the baby in different outfits. Or different colours of the same out. How original! Your baby is so photogenic! Should be a baby model! (Seriously, what do you expect from us? To be gushing about your baby 24/7?)

You tell us how excited, happy and proud you are to be parents. How awesome this is, but, we got the message the first time when you announced the pregnancy. Then through all the phases of the pregnancy. Until finally the birth!

We had hoped the birth would bring an end to the endless pregnancy and baby statuses and pictures... 'Cause it now seems to be the "in"thing to do pregnancy photoshoots... O_o. And also find every article about pregnancy and child rearing online and share them with your Facebook friends, yes, because we all want to know how to give birth and rear perfect little humans. Hello - we all have internet access too, we can Google the info ourselves if we really want to. But we DON'T! We  don't have babies so we have no interest in learning how to bring one up! Maybe just share the amazing info you found with just those who have kids too... Just maybe... Just an idea, use it, don't use it... Whatever... But, please stop sharing them with me!

However, the birthing of this mini human that they have made only just makes parents want to share even more. So you have more links about parenthood and the like flooding your news feed as well as endless baby and proud parent statuses and pictures.

Sure, Facebook is there to share your life with your friends and family (make everyone see how happy and successful you are). But there's a limit guys.

Your baby is cute (if you're lucky). We're all so happy for you. Now can we move on with life. Because, thanks to a nifty Facebook feature (which is probably my favourite feature and I love it oh so much) I can just unfollow you. We'll still be friends but all your mundane status updates and pictures will no longer show up on my home news feed.

So guys, please, please, please be more thoughtful when posting on Facebook. If not there's always Parentsbook.

Bezubaan Phir Se

Finally a full video of the original song and dance sequence from the movie. I've been waiting so long for this. Absolutely love this song. So beautiful and emotional. Love it.

Pehla Nasha ...

You just cannot beat the classics. *heart sigh*

Nothing like a good cup of coffee

In my desperate need for coffee I found myself buying a cappuccino at the local Food lover's Market. I couldn't care less about taste at that moment, I just needed a dose of caffeine. I was even contemplating a KFC cappuccino when I decided to just check out Food lover's Market. The lady that served me was very pleasant and as much as I hate clichés, I swear that she makes her coffee with love and a smile. And you can taste it! The cappuccino was simply lovely. It was actually one of the best cappuccinos I've had.

I actually made a trip all the way out there today just for the cappuccino.

The prices are relatively decent. A small is just 19 bucks and a large, 27 rand. There are also various other hot and cold beverages on offer, which I certainly plan on trying.

What I’ve come to learn as a Post Grad student

I've actually come to learn quite a lot since starting my post graduate studies – much more than I thought I would. I studied an undergraduate degree because I was forced to. I was told I HAD to get a university degree and that was that. So I chose to study something I thought I would hate the least. I ended up hating it either way.

Well clearly going into it with the attitude I had from the start did not aid things at all. But I just did not find the courses entertaining and helpful in a real way. Every module of learning in my undergraduate degree consisted of being fed dense theory and then having to regurgitate that info and also “apply” it. Even in my final year when we went out into the field to cover local stories I found that the theory followed me everywhere. We didn't just have free reign to go out there and do what we wanted, how we wanted to and then write up our story as we pleased. We had to follow it by the book and go out and do what the lecturer TOLD us to do and write up the story according to a set of rules. I do understand that certain rules do need to be in place; however we need to be able to work freely within those boundaries and exceed limitations. In undergrad I found the limitations to be suffocating and restraining to my imagination. I was so busy focusing on the structure and rules and trying to get them right that my stories became banal. At the end of my degree I absolutely HATED studying and even the thought of it gave me chest pains! I swore to never study again.

Fast forward to two years down the line and that expensive degree of mine has yet to reap any real job opportunities. Alas I decided that it was indeed time to go back to the drawing board. I enrolled into a Post Graduate Diploma course in Marketing and Supply Chain Management in the hopes that I could broaden my portfolio and make my CV more attractive to employers. I am currently in my second year of study and this is what I have learnt:

1. When YOU decide to study for yourself, it means so much more. It’s real. Especially when you've been in the real world and realise just how hard it is. You KNOW that you cannot just do the minimum and hope to just get by. Just a pass will not do. You WANT to do well and you want to do it for yourself. You don’t just want to make it through to keep your parents happy and your lecturers off your back. You are now accountable to YOURSELF and no one else. And when you are accountable to yourself, with your future on the line, you WANT to succeed, so badly. You will sacrifice to achieve your best!
2. When you are working, and then have to go to night classes after a hard day of work instead of going home to bed or out with your friends, you want to make these sacrifices worth the while. You are no longer a YOUNG full time student with all the time in the world and the hope of a bright long future ahead of you. You’re older now and are LIVING that future you dreamed of as an undergrad. And it is nowhere near as rosy as you thought it would be by now. If you are sacrificing your time that could be spent doing so many other things, time that is now so hard to come by and so very valuable, you will NOT want it to have all been for nothing. You do not want to have given up an early night after a really rough day of work and before an early morning only to fail the module. And for you to be left exactly where you were before you had made all those sacrifices. You want to come out of it with your degree/diploma and be able to go out and get a better job for yourself.
3. Also, you now understand the money it takes to study on a much more real basis. Before your parents were just paying the bill and you never really paid much heed to it. And they wanted you to get that degree so they’d better pay for it! You didn't notice the extra charges. You’d just add everything to your student account and the bill would go straight to your parents and it was all rather intangible to you. Now, you know exactly how much every single module, textbook and course hand out costs. You do not want to have spent all that money only to come out of it the same as you went in. You want to get your money’s worth and that means absorbing every single bit of information you can and getting the best possible marks and getting that degree/diploma and bettering your future thus getting a return on your investment of studying. You WILL work hard. And when you achieve your goals you will be all the more excited and satisfied about it.
4. And lastly, as I complained about in the beginning, undergrad degrees are so full of theory and shoving it down our throats and lacking in depth. In post grad you are given the chance to think out of the box and rewarded for it so long as what you come up with is actually possible and based on a reality. You are given the opportunity to put the theory into practice. It was in the practice of the theory and a further discussion thereon that I came to understand the theory, what it actually meant and how to go about putting it to use in the real world. When we had gone through the theory I thought that I had understood what was meant and expected by it, but when it was put into practice and discussed I learnt that it meant something entirely different. We were not told about what others had done and expected to learn from that. We were told to do it. But we were not just left there, after we worked on our own plans, it was discussed so we could see if we were on the right track and how to improve and what not. And it is through this practical hands on style of education that we are able to achieve greater understanding.