Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Are there greater evils than rejection... ?

My mailbox still shows no new mail. Not even an email to say I haven't got the job! That's just how much I'm worth, I don't even get notified that I didn't make it.

I received an email from Rhodos asking for writer and offering them a chance to gain experience. I thought it would be a good thing to do, and so I responded to the email. Gave all my details and wrote my little motivation paragraph. Went for the meeting and found out that I would be given an assignment to complete and then they would decide if they wanted me to work for them. Their writers get paid R300 a month. I was so excited. This meant that I would get my vac work done and earn some money for it too!

It just sounded amazind and I checked my mail about every 2 minutes the entire weekend for my assignment. On Monday I finally received the email for my task. I set about it on Monday and got to work. However, I did take my time with it thereafter. I had a lot of time till my deadline, and so I used all those days and only submitted my story on deadline day. All I received from the boss about it was a 'thank you'.

I waited to hear from the boss as to whether I had got the job or not, but i received nothing for over a week. And so I then emailed him and asked him when I could expect to know by. And he said that I would find out by the following Monday (yesterday). Last week Friday another girl that had also applied asked me if we signed salary slips and mentioned talking to the boss about our stories, I hadn't heard from him at all... I checked my mail frantically yesterday morning, and no new mail from Rhodos. At my journ lecture a girl mentions that she works for Rhodos. I checked my mail on the computer in front of me. No new mail.

That was it. My doubts became and unchangeable truth. I didn't make it, I didn't get the job. I guess I'm just not a good enough writer. I didn't show any enthusiasm. I don't know but I didn't do it right. I was so bad that I didn't even deserve a rejection letter.

So what do I do now? I'm useless and worthless. And am bound to be a failure in all things. Where do I go from here? I've no hope.