Why do you? Would he? - Name changing after marriage.

Yes, we all have the right to make our own decisions. And, yeah, I shouldn't judge. I really shouldn't judge. I have no right to. I'm in no place to. And I just shouldn't do it.

But, I just can't process this. A great deal of the girls I schooled with/studied with are now married. And not one of them kept their surname. Every single girl, now lady, that I studied with at some point in my life and is now married has taken on the surname of her husband and become a Mrs.

I KNOW it's a personal choice. But I just cant deal with this. At all. I could never just give up my surname, a huge part of my identity, and just take on another. We're in 2015, yet there is not a single woman I know who did not just drop off half of her identity for that of the current man they now call husband. Well all except my sister who has kept our surname with pride.

It really is none of my business, but I feel really angry about this. The fact that all these woman can so thoughtlessly give up a huge part of themselves... The fact that they don't even question why the man gets to keep his. The fact that they don't question why they have to lose part of their identity and just take on the man's. The fact that they just accept the status quo, which isn't even a forced status quo any more!The fact that they so proudly want to be called Mrs so and so! What pride is there in being known in relation to someone else and not as yourself?!

I'm not saying you shouldn't be proud to be married and shouldn't be proud of your husband and what not. Just, be more proud of who you are and where you come from.

Dear Facebook Friends

So, there are at least a thousand things that people do on Faceboook that annoys me (a LOT of things annoy me, yes I'm THAT person), but there's one thing that's taking precedence on the annoying Facebook things at the moment, so I decided to just focus on that. Let's sort out one thing at a time.

Recently most of my Facebook friends all seem to be either getting engaged, married or having babies. I am truly happy for you all. Truly, I am. You post the announcement, we all like it and congratulate you. You then post the initial photos, we like it and congratulate you. Awesome. So happy that your life is moving forward and your family is growing.

But, then you go and post a hundred photos and status updates every day about your new baby! I mean, yes, we get that you are excited, but really... Do we really need to see about 50 photos every other day of your baby? They all look pretty much the same to be honest. Sure, you get a snap from every single possible angle. Then you have the baby in different outfits. Or different colours of the same out. How original! Your baby is so photogenic! Should be a baby model! (Seriously, what do you expect from us? To be gushing about your baby 24/7?)

You tell us how excited, happy and proud you are to be parents. How awesome this is, but, we got the message the first time when you announced the pregnancy. Then through all the phases of the pregnancy. Until finally the birth!

We had hoped the birth would bring an end to the endless pregnancy and baby statuses and pictures... 'Cause it now seems to be the "in"thing to do pregnancy photoshoots... O_o. And also find every article about pregnancy and child rearing online and share them with your Facebook friends, yes, because we all want to know how to give birth and rear perfect little humans. Hello - we all have internet access too, we can Google the info ourselves if we really want to. But we DON'T! We  don't have babies so we have no interest in learning how to bring one up! Maybe just share the amazing info you found with just those who have kids too... Just maybe... Just an idea, use it, don't use it... Whatever... But, please stop sharing them with me!

However, the birthing of this mini human that they have made only just makes parents want to share even more. So you have more links about parenthood and the like flooding your news feed as well as endless baby and proud parent statuses and pictures.

Sure, Facebook is there to share your life with your friends and family (make everyone see how happy and successful you are). But there's a limit guys.

Your baby is cute (if you're lucky). We're all so happy for you. Now can we move on with life. Because, thanks to a nifty Facebook feature (which is probably my favourite feature and I love it oh so much) I can just unfollow you. We'll still be friends but all your mundane status updates and pictures will no longer show up on my home news feed.

So guys, please, please, please be more thoughtful when posting on Facebook. If not there's always Parentsbook.

Bezubaan Phir Se

Finally a full video of the original song and dance sequence from the movie. I've been waiting so long for this. Absolutely love this song. So beautiful and emotional. Love it.

Pehla Nasha ...

You just cannot beat the classics. *heart sigh*

Nothing like a good cup of coffee

In my desperate need for coffee I found myself buying a cappuccino at the local Food lover's Market. I couldn't care less about taste at that moment, I just needed a dose of caffeine. I was even contemplating a KFC cappuccino when I decided to just check out Food lover's Market. The lady that served me was very pleasant and as much as I hate clichés, I swear that she makes her coffee with love and a smile. And you can taste it! The cappuccino was simply lovely. It was actually one of the best cappuccinos I've had.

I actually made a trip all the way out there today just for the cappuccino.

The prices are relatively decent. A small is just 19 bucks and a large, 27 rand. There are also various other hot and cold beverages on offer, which I certainly plan on trying.

What I’ve come to learn as a Post Grad student

I've actually come to learn quite a lot since starting my post graduate studies – much more than I thought I would. I studied an undergraduate degree because I was forced to. I was told I HAD to get a university degree and that was that. So I chose to study something I thought I would hate the least. I ended up hating it either way.

Well clearly going into it with the attitude I had from the start did not aid things at all. But I just did not find the courses entertaining and helpful in a real way. Every module of learning in my undergraduate degree consisted of being fed dense theory and then having to regurgitate that info and also “apply” it. Even in my final year when we went out into the field to cover local stories I found that the theory followed me everywhere. We didn't just have free reign to go out there and do what we wanted, how we wanted to and then write up our story as we pleased. We had to follow it by the book and go out and do what the lecturer TOLD us to do and write up the story according to a set of rules. I do understand that certain rules do need to be in place; however we need to be able to work freely within those boundaries and exceed limitations. In undergrad I found the limitations to be suffocating and restraining to my imagination. I was so busy focusing on the structure and rules and trying to get them right that my stories became banal. At the end of my degree I absolutely HATED studying and even the thought of it gave me chest pains! I swore to never study again.

Fast forward to two years down the line and that expensive degree of mine has yet to reap any real job opportunities. Alas I decided that it was indeed time to go back to the drawing board. I enrolled into a Post Graduate Diploma course in Marketing and Supply Chain Management in the hopes that I could broaden my portfolio and make my CV more attractive to employers. I am currently in my second year of study and this is what I have learnt:

1. When YOU decide to study for yourself, it means so much more. It’s real. Especially when you've been in the real world and realise just how hard it is. You KNOW that you cannot just do the minimum and hope to just get by. Just a pass will not do. You WANT to do well and you want to do it for yourself. You don’t just want to make it through to keep your parents happy and your lecturers off your back. You are now accountable to YOURSELF and no one else. And when you are accountable to yourself, with your future on the line, you WANT to succeed, so badly. You will sacrifice to achieve your best!
2. When you are working, and then have to go to night classes after a hard day of work instead of going home to bed or out with your friends, you want to make these sacrifices worth the while. You are no longer a YOUNG full time student with all the time in the world and the hope of a bright long future ahead of you. You’re older now and are LIVING that future you dreamed of as an undergrad. And it is nowhere near as rosy as you thought it would be by now. If you are sacrificing your time that could be spent doing so many other things, time that is now so hard to come by and so very valuable, you will NOT want it to have all been for nothing. You do not want to have given up an early night after a really rough day of work and before an early morning only to fail the module. And for you to be left exactly where you were before you had made all those sacrifices. You want to come out of it with your degree/diploma and be able to go out and get a better job for yourself.
3. Also, you now understand the money it takes to study on a much more real basis. Before your parents were just paying the bill and you never really paid much heed to it. And they wanted you to get that degree so they’d better pay for it! You didn't notice the extra charges. You’d just add everything to your student account and the bill would go straight to your parents and it was all rather intangible to you. Now, you know exactly how much every single module, textbook and course hand out costs. You do not want to have spent all that money only to come out of it the same as you went in. You want to get your money’s worth and that means absorbing every single bit of information you can and getting the best possible marks and getting that degree/diploma and bettering your future thus getting a return on your investment of studying. You WILL work hard. And when you achieve your goals you will be all the more excited and satisfied about it.
4. And lastly, as I complained about in the beginning, undergrad degrees are so full of theory and shoving it down our throats and lacking in depth. In post grad you are given the chance to think out of the box and rewarded for it so long as what you come up with is actually possible and based on a reality. You are given the opportunity to put the theory into practice. It was in the practice of the theory and a further discussion thereon that I came to understand the theory, what it actually meant and how to go about putting it to use in the real world. When we had gone through the theory I thought that I had understood what was meant and expected by it, but when it was put into practice and discussed I learnt that it meant something entirely different. We were not told about what others had done and expected to learn from that. We were told to do it. But we were not just left there, after we worked on our own plans, it was discussed so we could see if we were on the right track and how to improve and what not. And it is through this practical hands on style of education that we are able to achieve greater understanding.  

When your alarm doesn't go off...

Your sleep breaks. You need to pee. It's dark outside. You assume it's still either late night or super early morning. You go back to sleep leaving the waking up on time responsibility to your alarm...

You suddenly wake up with a fright (you have no idea why). Everything is super bright and radiating sunshine through your windows. You're confused. You look at your phone to check the time... Your phone is DEAD!

You JUMP out of bed. Dart downstairs to the nearest clock. It's 6:40 AM! Your alarm is set for 5:30 AM. You usually leave home between 6:45 AM - 7:00 AM.

You RUN back to your room. Grab all your toiletries. Run to the shower. Have a supersonic shower whilst brushing your teeth.

You put on the first set of clothes you can find and that's easiest to get on. Shove on the closest pair of slip-on shoes. Slap on some deodorant. This is a NECESSITY, there is no time for cosmetic nonsense such as lotion and what not.

Grab your bag and race downstairs (you are in a race against time - yes, I said it).

Shovel cereal down your throat. Throw the dishes in the sink. Those can be washed later! Grab your lunch (forget your water bottle).Run to the car and prepare for the battle against traffic.

It's your lucky day! Traffic is relatively minimal. The universe is on your side - for ONCE. You make it to work at 7:35 AM. You're early. And what's more - you're the first one at the office.

You count yourself lucky (along with your blessings) - you could have very easily ended up reaching work after 8:00 AM and had to have explained yourself to the boss.

*Super sigh*