Your now is not your forever

Image courtesy of The Artidote

I feel like I've been in a rut. For a while. A deep rut. Life didn't turn out the way I expected it would.  I was so naive. I felt like I was so full of potential and would amount to so much in life. But, that didn't happen. No one warned me.

My degree took longer than I planned to complete. I didn't get to complete the degree I started. And I didn't even get to do the subjects I'd wanted to. No one warned me.

I didn't get my dream job immediately after university. I didn't get my dream job for months after university. I didn't get any job for months after university. No one warned me.

I took up a part time temp job as a receptionist. It was meant to last three months. I'm now there for five years. It was just meant to help fill the time till something more substantial came along. Nothing substantial came along. No one warned me.

That first year after completing my studies, I applied for a myriad of jobs across the board. Nothing came of it. I kept applying. Every day. Slowly, it became too much. The constant rejection became too much. So I stopped applying. Why waste the time... Why go through that stress and turmoil... For nothing... No one warned me.

So now I sit at the same job for five years. I have two degrees to my name, and I'm a receptionist/secretary. Day in, day out, its the same. Never moving forward. Never gaining. Never changing. Basically doing nothing with my life.

People think I don't see the looks in their eyes, the words that go unspoken, the meaning behind the, "why don't you try teaching?"or the, "I know so and so, I'll give them your number or give you theirs...". They think I don't notice. They think I don't know.

It gets to me. Really gets to me. I try to overlook it and continue on as happy as I can. But, sometimes its just too much to bare. Knowing that I'm going nowhere. But then I saw this quote on The Artidote. The Artidote is sometimes the only thing that manages to pull me through a day. Reading a quote that so perfectly sums up how I feel and what I'm going through. Makes me feel like I am not alone. Someone else gets it. And, just because you've been stuck for so long, doesn't mean that you always will be. The time will come for change. And there's a reason for everything. (I hope).