A regular visit to the dentist

Ah the regular visit to the dentist. I'm a firm believer that unless you get into a  major fight and get your teeth knocked about, or experience serious problems with your teeth, you really shouldn't have to go to the dentist. But, apparently it's just good health care sense to visit the dentist twice a year for a check up and a good clean and polish. Though I don't really notice a difference than when I just brush my teeth at home to be honest. But, if you're on a medical aid scheme in South Africa you're likely approved for those two visits a year, and seen as medical aid is RIDICULOUS, you're going to make the most of what you can (well I do anyway).

The thing is, much like with doctors (and pretty much most things) I would rather not go at all. If I collapse and die then we know something was wrong and I'm fine with finding out that way... But, I guess going to the dentist isn't quite as traumatic as going to a general practitioner. And, if it's free... :p

However, going to the dentist is still really quite awkward. For obvious reasons. But, yeah, I'll list the reasons as to why it is so awkward in the chance that no one else thinks so. Though, I am the queen of awkward. You could put me in the most un-awkward situation ever and I'd MAKE it awkward. So, who knows, maybe I'm the only one who finds going to the dentist to be an awkward situation, but anyhoo here are my reasons...

1. No matter what, before a visit to the dentist you always feel the need to brush your teeth beforehand. And you'll even go the extra length and floss and even use a mouthwash, despite the fact that you could care less about flossing generally. There's just this pressure of having to pretty up your teeth and breath for the dentist even though they are going to do exactly that for you. But, yeah, you don't really want the dentist to be picking food bits from your teeth and having to try not to pass out from your rancid breath. The problem with this is that you don't always have the opportunity to do this before going to the dentist, so you end up just trying to quickly suck on a sweet or chew some gum and pray you don't knock the dentist out.

2. Following the line of not wanting the dentist to have to pick out chunks of food from your mouth, because you don't want to end up in that uncomfortable situation you avoid all foods that can get trapped in or between your teeth all day and you avoid eating ANYTHING near to the time of your appointment. And if you just happened to be heading to the dentist straight after a long day at work and you missed lunch 'cause you were just too busy, well then you're going to just have to suffer in silence. Or suffer in a relatively quiet room with a strange rumble sound every now and then. You try to suppress the rumbles, but that doesn't work out so well. So you just lie there with your extremely vocal tummy while the dentist has their way with the insides of your mouth.

3. You get into the room and you lie down on that chair thingy. And what the hell are you supposed to do with your hands! You're just lying flat there and your hands just seem to be so huge and useless! Do you lay them at your sides? But then that seems too weird and rigid. Do you cross them at your chest? But that seems stern and even more rigid. Do you fold them in front of you? But that seems so formal. If you ball them into fists it looks like you're angry or in a huge deal of pain and terror. There's just no right way to deal with your huge hands when at the dentist! Or is there? Please do tell me. Please!

4. Also, what on earth do you do with your eyes! This is even worse than the hand situation. 'Cause the dentist is basically working right in your face! They're all up in your business, I mean they're in your mouth! You can't get much more personal than that (okay, you can, but you know what I mean). They're looking about in your mouth and you've both got on those ridiculous goggles and you're like, "right, this is fuuuuuuun, so where the hell do I look?!" Do I try and watch what's going on in my mouth? But I can't really see much, I'm seeing a very small part of this. And then you might just make eye contact with the dentist! And that would just be the mother of awkward situations! Do you look around... But there's not really much to look at, and if they notice you're looking it around it might seem weird that you're looking at nothing... Do you close your eyes? But then they'll be like you're too scared or they might think you're too relaxed and they might just end up giving you a black tooth!

5. As I've mentioned throughout 'cause, well, it's the thing you're most conscious of, the dentist will be right in your face. So if you have bad breath, they're very likely going to get a good whiff of it. And so you're entirely self conscious and praying that your breath doesn't smell as bad as you think it does even though you brushed and flossed and gargled and chewed an orbit before you could go in.

NOW tell me that going to the dentist is not awkward! People make a fuss about being scared to go to the dentist 'cause of the pain, puhleese, you should be more scared of the amount of awkwardness you'll be forced to deal with. Someone should really make a set of rules to help us better deal with these situations in the future. Just some guidelines to help make a simple visit to the dentist a little less awkward.