Cinema neurotics

Going to the movies has become an event and a rare occasion for me these days, much like it was when I was a little kid. In today's world we need not go to the cinema to see a new movie, we have direct and immediate access to movies the moment it's released (we won't say much else on this *hush hush*). Hence, there is no real point to schlepping it to the cinema and having to fork out the price of a movie ticket...

So, when I do happen to go to all this trouble I expect it to be worth my while (and my money). I tend to only go to the cinema these days if I truly believe a movie is going to blow my mind completely and it's something that I truly want to see on the big screen and know that I won't regret,  like The Avengers.

I also expect the experience to be quite an awe filled one - like *BIG SCREEN* - AAAAHHHHHH - *stares in wonder and amazement*. I want to enjoy the movie in its full glory on the big screen, with surround sound, and just be 'wowed'. If I just wanted to watch a movie, I would have done that at home.

Thus, there are certain requirements that I expect to be met, certain things that should be done and others that just shouldn't be done. (I am a very fussy person, I know this, its just the way I am, but hey I like to think that I just expect better of the world, thus pushing the world towards better qualities and standards. I mean, if you came to my home you'd expect a decent cup of tea, not drain water...).

So this is basically what I expect, as well as what I DON'T expect, when I go to the cinema:

1. I have a ticket with a specific seat number, I DON'T expect to see someone sitting in my seat when I get there and having to deal with the awkward task of asking them to move. Seriously, specific seat numbers were assigned for a reason! Not just for fun. If you cannot read (or see) ask someone else for help.
2. Once seated I expect my seat to be clean and usable, NOT broken and sticky with who knows what gunk! (the floor should also be clean, I don't want to have to wash my shoes after a visit to the movies). As a cinema house you are providing a service, you better do it right.
3. I'm paying for the surround sound, I'd better get surround sound. If there's a problem, FIX IT. Again, promising to provide a service...
4. People with babies, WHY would you take a baby to a cinema? WHY?! Unless you have a super baby who is able to remain silent for hours on end or will just about sleep through anything, you should NOT take a baby to the movies. Get a babysitter or something or just get the DVD and watch it at home. Yeah, babies are cute and all, but I didn't pay money to hear your baby cry!
5. The seat in front of you was NOT meant to be a footrest NOR is it a kicking bag. So please refrain from putting your feet on it and kicking it! Its kind of difficult for a person to concentrate on what's happening on the screen when someone's foot keeps bumping their head and when their back is being constantly shoved and kicked. It is also very annoying, uncomfortable and just plain rude and selfish. It can also be painful... (true story). 
6. I absolutely cannot stand it when people either blow their nose loudly or pull their noses loudly. I can actually hear all the mucus being sucked up their nostrils and into their throat. Disgusting. I do NOT wanna hear (or picture) that, no thank you. So please deal with your mucus some other way.
7. Cell phones - please switch them to silent before the movie can begin. Like, yay for you for having such an awesome ring tone, but really now if I wanted to listen to music I'd be at a concert, not the movies. And if you really have such an urgent call - leave and take the call outside! Why be so selfish as to sit in that little theatre and have a fat conversation making it practically impossible for everyone else to watch the movie. Seriously, your conversation (and your voice) is not that fascinating.
8. One of my biggest pet peeves about going to the cinema - people who talk during the movie! Okay, so I get that you're super excited to be at the movies and you're so keen to watch the movie of every trailer you've seen and you're so super proud to know all the actors names and where they've acted before and you have such amazing thoughts on every scene and piece of dialogue and what not - but PLEASE, I CAME TO WATCH A MOVIE, NOT YOU. If you really think that you have something to say thats just totally amazing and HAS to be said, think it through (thoroughly) and store it in your memory bank and share it AFTER the movie. Please. 

You can call me rude, you can call me impossible, you can say I expect too much, but I just expect certain standards to be met. And meeting these standards would obviously make the world a better place... So people really should try... Its not that hard.

Basically though, cinema houses propose to provide a certain service, so they should ensure that they do so and that its done to the best of their abilities. And people really need to be less selfish. I'm a pretty self centred person myself, but there's a limit. You cannot be so full of it as to completely disregard the needs of others, especially other paying customers.